Please insert g’s where necessary

so there are so many different things going through my mind tonight, I hardly know where to start, lets see, I’m reading so many different books and thinking so many different thins that it is hard to know where to even begin, let’s see, I’m reading that autobiography of a spiritual healer right now about that women in the Philippines who is a psychic surgeon for Christ, she heals people, in Christ’s name, through psychic surgery, she is relatively poor, roman catholic, yet ecumenical it seems and she is given tests to undergo by angels to prove to herself and maybe to god that she can handle the trials she is given later, so that makes me wonder what the truth is, Maher’s article, being is, is kinda vague know that I think about it, but that makes me wonder what the truth is, it seems kinda smart, than at the same time, kinda too intellectual, I don’t know, I like unity and all, but he needs to construct it better and in a manner that I can understand easier, then you have the Kryon, whom I’ve started reading book two again, I don’t know hat to say about the Kryon, he had such an earlier impact on my life when I went to college but I don’t’ know, his words don’t seem to hit me like they used to, maybe I have strayed too far off the path, Kryon is the one who really made me find religion again in the first place, but maybe this is not the point, but then doesn’t fritjof schuon say that the contemplation of the Infinite can and should only be through their exoteric forms and that you cannot bypass the exoteric for the esoteric, but isn’t that what I necessarily did, in his own words well in smiths words “Our times are witnessing an efflorescence of esotericism, but largely of a rootless variety (nag hammadi and the newly rediscovered gnostic texts?!?). Unconvinced by theology, which along with theory of every sort is dismissed as a ‘head trip,’ the young especially are looking for experience (isn’t this what Shattuck in Forbidden Knowledge was arguing against as one of the greatest falls of human nature?!?): direct, unmediated God-awareness through altered states of consciousness (xxiv).” If that doesn’t sound like my college years summed up to a T, I don’t know what does!!! So I guess back to my original point, maybe searching for religion after I found Kryon was maybe not something that I was supposed to do, maybe I should get more into it, but then what about something in this book is true and babaji and the masters of the east who have lived for hundreds and hundreds of years, can you even categorize those people as belonging to a religion, the book that frissel gives to explain them sounds like a book about Taoist alchemy/mysticism, so than is that the true religion, what is the true religion, why do I always tend to come back to this and why does it seem to consume my life so much, what about Islam, sufism seems to be the very embodiment of true religion, but salafist and wahabi Islam seems to be the very embodiment of anti-religion, is this what I meant in an earlier writing when I said that something seems clearer in Islam than in other religions, is that clarity the nature of god being both good and evil and is that why his religion manifests at both of those extremes? But the wahabis’ do have some good critiques of our civilization, if you want to know more, read Saudi Publications on Hate Ideology Fill American Mosques by The Center for Religious Freedom, Freedom House, now that I read it though, it does sound like a argument trying to prove W’s assertion that ‘they hate our freedom they hate our democracy’ which I don’t really buy but that this report tends to support. What about the brigadier general, who put out the book war is a racket that agrees with the thesis I came to after reading rule by secrecy that all war is almost exclusively for profit, isn’t’ that why they hate us, because we are exploiting their lands and peoples and beliefs in the name of profits and capitalism, which the white house calls freedom and democracy, which I equate to Christianity? Is there really any difference between these things? In their mind? Does it matter? They are so fused together in our minds that I think that for us and for them, if you accept one, you have to except all of them. Others might disagree with them, but that is what they think and many over hear, although they will never say it, think the same exact thing. That this the argument I am trying to get Alex to swallow but he is not doing it at all, I just want him to see things through their eyes, which is what I think that I am trying to do. Another question is should Islam be as pacifistic as Christianity? That is what we assume and also why we condemn it the way that we do, because we are speaking through Christian eyes, which we call civil rights or human rights or whatever the fuck we want to call it, should Christianity be more non-pacifistic, I cannot even get deep enough into their minds in order to answer this question, but we are hypocrites, we say pacifist pacifist pacifist but then look how we act, guantanamo bay, Iraq, Israel, we are total hypocrites and maybe deserve everything we are getting from them, but then they are hypocrites and liars as well, it’s like Satan vs. Lucifer is what it seems, with the Real Evil One laughing all the way to the bank while we kill each other like fools and while our leaders get rich off of it. What else am I reading, oh yeah, maybe it’s a big hegelian dialectic going on, maybe it’s not just knowledge, but maybe it’s like a Marxist economic and historical determinism added to an hegelian dialectical method thing, if Marx said history is all economically determined and Hegel said all of history is the thesis vs the antithesis to form the synthesis, maybe that is what is happening right now, the thesis (the West) vs. the anti-thesis (the Middle East) that will form the synthesize (a harmonized version of our Judeo-Christian culture and religion with their Islamic culture and religion) is that why I am so drawn to both of these religions and cultures, is that why I study the origins of religions, especially these two, so much, is that why I am living here in this part of the world, to synthesize these two belief systems, but I thought that ken Wilber did that on a much larger scale than I could possibly do, and how does the transcendent unity of all religions fit into this, what about world scripture and the common core book that I want to get with the ten teachings shared by all (well, most anyways Sara, although I’m glad you know your logic) is all that intellectual mumbo-jumbo and nice and all but someone needs to come and actually start a new tradition of this, but isn’t that doing exactly what Marie says that I shouldn’t do, throw in another religion to compete with the ones that cannot get along now with each other in the first place?!? I don’t know what to think about all of this. Is there a prophet that needs to come to codify this new belief systems mixing the best of the Abrahamic faiths together and getting rid of all the junk and the bullshit, isn’t that what the Christianity today article was implying, a kind of interfaith ecumenism? I don’t know, maybe I should just forget all of this bullshit and go out east and study with babaji and the other masters and live forever and leave humanity behind, but do I want to do this, isn’t doing this kinda selfish and not helping your fellow man very much, isn’t that one of the thins that the Abrahamic faiths are about, service to others, maybe that is a fundamental difference between the abrahamics and the easterns, the formers emphasis on service to the other over self-enlightenment and vice-versa for the other one? Are all these just generalizations that will fall apart with any academic thoroughgoing analysis?!? Isn’t the hegelian dialectic in politics thin happening with Jim Wallis and his new book gods politics, isn’t that what is happening with the interfaith movement here and around the world? I am running out of things to say, more questions tonight than answers, that’s for sure. This is a good one, I think that I’m going to put it on my blog, maybe somebody there will have the answers that I’m looking for are there any answers though, maybe the answer is the searching that you do when you ask the question, that the process is more important than the end goal and in fact, is the end goal, like the Zen master tom osbourne said after he won the national championship. Maybe this process right here, this writing that I am doing is the answer that I am looking for?!? I really don’t know, maybe not knowing is the right answer, Socrates wins again! edeb, edeb, edeb, that’s all folks!@