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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

So Joyce Morse...

the Hr Director at La-Porter Federal Credit Union, where I have been working as the business development representative since December 20, 2005 came in and started asking me all these questions. One of the questions she asked was why don’t I become a reverend, non-denominational if need be. I didn’t know how to answer other than the fact that I didn’t want to do it and I thin I kinda figured out why. The reason is because there is a part of me that thinks putting spiritual titles on somebody like that is somehow wrong, quite frankly. I don’t know what about it makes it wrong, but it just seems supurious and artificial. I don’t want to be considered a spiritual authority, if some of my words are Sophia-istic, then it wasn’t me, but the Spirit speaking through me and I’m sure that this happens to some, maybe many of the people in the world who have all these multiple religious titles. But if that’s the case, then it really wasn’t them and so why call them reverend, everybody has the Sophia inside of them, so why do we exalt one who remembers and helps other’s remember what we all already know. On a side note, I’ve been listening to 311 ‘large in the margin’ and before that extreme ‘it’s a monster’, so I guess back to the point, these titles are idols. That’s what it comes down to. Wow, sometimes I think I’m the ann coulter of religion, my views seem to get more and more radical all of the time, that’s why I don’t like talking about things with people anymore, because I’ve gotten to that point I think, I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but I do know ‘where did they come from tonight, who came along for the ride’ yep, marie likes this song too. That’s really cool that she loves the misfits I guess if she was going to truly be my girl, she would have to like the misfits, who couldn’t, but anyways, these titles affix a false distinction between the spirit and thus, while helping to foster the reunity of the godsoul in some instances, I think in other instances they actually damper the reunity of the godsoul and the dissemenation of mystical and spiritual knowledge, Sophia, Logos, the Forms, whatever, you know me and the transcendent unity, I could try to rhyme there, but I’m not really a poet, too much hard work for me, especially right now while I’m at work, suppossd to be working, but can’t let this go, at least while it’s on my mind, I wanted to go back to school to write more I think and I think I’m going to be able to do just that. I don’t know, I guess like anything having to do with the paradox of the en sof, the deepest, unknowable holiest of holiest True Transcedent Eternal Omni Etc. Etc. God-Soul, that paradox is manifested on the microcosmic level as these titles both harming and hurting their true efforts. I don’t know, is hellblazer and constantine right, is neutrality the best policy, zarathustra hasn’t won the war yet, will anybody? Nobody ever will because of the truth of the nuetrality of the god soul because at it’s heart all we can understand about it is paradox, that it cannot be possible but it is and that we cannot understand it, by definition, not by definition, but if that really were the case, the wall would be totally broken down, is that the point, to totally break the wall between the two realities, I wonder if some people who are reading this tink I’m a nutcase, nutjob, nutbag, omninut, I don’ know, this sucks, because I wanted to point out how these titles were a bad thing, idolotry because they prevent the reuniffication fo the universal god soul, but does this necessarily mean a break between the two realties, so I came into this writing rightgeous, but come out of it nuetral, paralyzed by the puzzling and problematic paradox of God. As it seems I tend to be more and more lately, I don’t know fi this is a good or a bad thing either. It’s 3 I think I’m gonna go put the food away in the lunch room, since I took it out, so I guess I haven’t written in a while and those essays I had to write for the scholarships I applied for last night must have inspired me, as well as the conversation with the lovely joyce, who I mentioned earlier, should I do a roll call of this work too, everybody I now and have met, the two debbies, one of whom is my boss, the other one who has pretzels, elizabeth and her boss leslyn, both christines and lanell, dan and kim, tina and chery, ron and used to be sara, don’t forget about carolyn and lisa, and all those tellers, and shyann who graduated from teller school, mary, bethany, felicia, and allison, the lady from michiana who shares the office with brad, dana and kim and lori from laporte here we go, here’s a good song, how can you not loke this song, he really shows his vocalness on this one ‘they call us walking corpses, unhyoly living dead, they oughta lock us up, put us in their british hell’ … I’m just sapped of writing material, I guess it’s beause I haven’t read enough, at least not academic stuff, graphic novels have been my appetite for about a year now, to get my mind ready for the task ahead of itself, I hope I survive the ordeal and finally get that golden fleece I’ve been searching for for so long, long, long…...